Saturday, May 06, 2006

Wiggin' out in Wallyworld!

Oh, if you only knew how hesitant my fingers are to type the following words on this blog. Part of me is telling myself to STOP and to DELETE everything I have typed so far; while the other part of me is saying, don't stop anything. This is the most "blog worthy" entry you've had yet. It is also a story that I know I will regret telling my oh so loving family and friends in the years.....and years.....and years to come. I will never live this one down. (big sigh) Hold on to your hats folks this is a good one! I can't believe I'm doing this. Here I go!
Ok, so it's saturday and I've been doing stuff around the house all day. Cleaning, ironing, picking up toys, etc... I have to go to the store today too, but I'm trying to hold off until the last possible moment because as you all know I HATE GROCERY SHOPPING! Anyway, I finally decide to bite the bullet and go around 2:45 this afternoon. Jimmy is going to be at home working on the computer so I leave the girls for him to watch and I just take Andy with me. One kid is not so bad; it's three that will send me over the edge.
So we're off to Wal-Mart. I have a half-written list in my purse of the things I need to get while I'm there. I wasn't able to sit down long enough today and make out a complete list, so again I'm going on memory. Now, let me just stop right here and remind you all that my memory has been lacking in the last couple years. Just a few posts ago I wrote an entry about how Emily has to tell me to "remembuh dat" constantly. I just want to make sure you all understand that I'm not exaggerating the "fewer brain cells" theory. It is completely true!
Ok, so like I said, I'm dictating to myself a grocery list on the way to Wal-Mart. I'm trying to remember to get jelly, excedrin, dish soap and formula just to name a few. I pull up into the parking lot and get out. Like most of us Wal-Mart regulars I have a system of walking through the store. I always start on the side with the medical supplies and tolietries and then work my way around through the toys, home items, electronics, crafts and then groceries. Well, today was no different. I had to pick up some Excedrin for Jimmy so my first stop was in the medicine department. I spent about 2-3 minutes browsing around there before I noticed that they had the new "Summer" aisle stocked. I walked through that whole section looking at all the cool new swimming and summer stuff for the kids. I passed by the sunscreen and debated on buying some, when I couldn't quite remember if I already had some at home. All I could think about was how expensive that stuff is. They have tons of different brands and types and none of them are cheap. Needless to say I opted to check at home first. I probably spent another 5-7 minutes looking in this section before I slowly made my way to the back of the store. I was enjoying my little afternoon out just taking my time and browsing at everything. What's the rush right?
Well, I finally made it to the baby section in the back were I needed to get diapers and formula. I loaded up my cart with these two items that amazingly have already put a major dent in my spending amount for the day. I can't wait till Andy is 1! No more $20 cans of formula every week.
Ok, so I'm still in the baby section and it's been another 5 minutes. I start noticing my stomach getting upset so I decide to swing by the bathroom while I'm in close proximity. It would not be good to wait and then have to sprint from the frozen foods section all the way to the back of the store. So off I go to the bathroom. I'm still browsing as I'm walking hoping that I don't miss something or God forbid forget something that I came for. This is where it starts to get interesting.
Somewhere on the way from the baby section to the bathroom I have this weird feeling. I don't even remember what thought may have struck my mind to make me have this feeling, but I just remember feeling like I had forgotten something. I couldn't figure it out. And then suddenly it hit me! WHERE IS ANDY??? (Panic) The next few moments are kind of a blur. Never in my life have I been so dumb! I must have had 50 or so questions go through my slowly diminishing brain in less than 5 seconds. Here are a few of them in no particular order: 1. Where is Andy? 2. Didn't I have him with me? 3. Did I leave him at home? 4. Did I leave him somewhere in the store? 5. Did I bring him? 6. Where's Andy? 7. Oh my God, where is Andy? 8. Did I leave him in the car?...........whether or not this was question number eight is too hard to say, but after asking myself that one I knew exactly where Andy was! I had left my son in the car!!!!! Can you believe it? I was in complete denial! As I was running out of the store after leaving my cart somewhere in the middle of the clothes section I was still trying to convince myself that "THIS WAS NOT HAPPENING"! How could I be so stupid and forgetful. I mean it's one thing to forget to get your kid a drink or forget to let them play on the computer, but how can you forget your kid in the car for 20 minutes while you just go browsing through Wal-Mart!!!!
I'm sure if social services got a hold of the video survelliance at my local Wal-Mart, they would have seen a "twenty-something, brunette, capri- wearing woman" running through the store, knocking people out of the way to get out the sliding glass doors. Not my finest moment!
I make it out to the parking lot in record time and run to the side of the car. I unlock the car (at least I remembered to lock it, right?) and open up the back door as quickly as possible. There he precious baby boy.....sucking his thumb and smiling at me! I was so relieved yet so upset at the same time. He was totally oblivious of his mother's stupid memory lapse! He looked at me as if to say, "Hey Mom, where ya been?"
Tears started to fill my eyes in all the thoughts that flooded my mind about what could have happened. I sat there in the car for a few mintues just holding him and apologizing to him. He didn't seem to care, he was just enjoying the attention. I decided there was no way I was going to get my shopping done today. I was a basketcase! Plus, I wasn't about to waltz back into the store I just came running out of with a baby in my arms. Can someone say, "DEAD GIVEAWAY!"

I am fully aware that the story I just told is forever imbedded into history. I have dealt with the guilt all afternoon otherwise I would not have even thought of posting this entry. I have come to terms with my stupidity, yet I am so thankful that my little Andy came out of it with no emotional or physical scars. Now, I am ready for the horrible comments that will befall me! Bring it on! I only ask that you think back on all the times you yourself did something stupid and didn't have the nerve to admit it to all of blogland.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

When Crisco goes bad

Ok, so most of you know that the staple birthday cake in the Templin family is none other than the "Coffee Cake". It is by far the best cake you could ever put in your mouth. It is my mom's recipe, I don't know where she got it from, but I don't ask....I just eat! Anyway, I have been deprived of this cake for a good 3 years now while in Colorado. I have tried time and time again to make this sweet confection but the altitude up here is a B*#$%. Excuse my "symbol" language, but it's true. There is nothing more frustrating than spending half an hour mixing and destroying your kitchen...then having to open your oven and see a deflated half-baked cake. Why is it so difficult? Again, another reason why Colorado is the "second skinniest" state in America. Cakes are non-existent up here. You can't even make a cake, much less enjoy sneaking a piece at 11:44pm. Anyway, back to the story.
So, I'm making another attempt at this stupid cake because it is my husband's favorite...and today is his birthday. I figure I should at least try. So I begin to pull out all the ingredients....sugar...check....flour....check...eggs....check...crisco...check...etc. I go through the whole process of measuring, sifting and separating only to open the crisco and see that something looks funny. I can't explain it, it just didn't look normal. You know the stuff is supposed to be a nice "lardy" white color, but instead it had a little yellow tint to it. Is this normal? I mean does anyone know what I'm talking about? Is this what lard looks like when it goes bad? Who knows? Does lard even go bad? Apparently no one knows, not even the manufactuer, because I looked all over that can for an expiration date. Nothing. Notta.
I sat looking at the stuff for a few more minutes contemplating my next move. Do I use it in this already proven impossible cake recipe, or do I try to get a fresher can of lard. Hmmm. Decisions, decisions. I decide to take a risk. I figure the stupid thing probably won't cook right anyway...what do I have to lose.
Ok, so I finish the batter and I put the cake in the oven. Cross my fingers and wait. In the meantime I call my trusty neighbor Julia hoping once again she will save my butt. This woman is my kinda neighbor. She has everything. It's like living next door to a King Soopers. (Colorado's grocery store) So, I call her and for the first time in neighborly history she proves to not be so trusty. Dang! My second option is my neighbor across the street, Sheri. I'm in unchartered waters now folks, I've never had to go looking for other resources. Julia has always been my #1 provider. I call Sheri, she's not there. Crap! By this time I've come to the conclusion that when and if the cake does turn out ok, it will taste like crap because I used bad lard. I just can't get a break.
I make another phone call to Meredith thinking if she has some fresher crisco I could meet her half way and avoid at least getting 3 kids out of the car just to buy some crisco. She informs me that she has made cake icing out of the "yellowy" lard before and that it was fine. Hmmm! Is this true? Maybe. But, will the same results befall me? I'm not convinced. I'm gonna have to make another stupid cake.
Julia, my grocer, calls me back and says she's going to he store and that she will be happy to pick me up some new crisco. This is great! I don't have to load up the kids! Yes! Thank you Julia!
Well, I make another phone call to my mom to ask her about some stuff and we get to talking. I mention that I'm attempting a coffee cake and I'm pretty sure it is gonna have a suttle taste of bad lard because my lard is yellow. She procedes to tell me that she doesn't even use crisco anymore to make her coffee cakes...she uses butter. Well, isn't that just great! Butter! Not what I wanted to here at this point in my totally waisted cake making experience. I've got a whole box of butter in the fridge, not to mention the 3 other frozen boxes of it in my freezer. Oh, and don't forget my neighbor who as we speak is purchasing a can of crisco for me at the store. Ahhhhh! I could have strangled my mother. I would have liked to know about the "correction" to the 25 year old coffee cake recipe. Apparently she made the change about 2 years ago when she herself found herself in the "no crisco" dilema. Hello, mom! Have you ever heard of the term F.Y.I.!!!!
Ok, so at this point I'm completely frustrated. The cake with the bad lard comes out great, except for the weird smell and the funny taste. Just my luck! Well, here we go again. It is a good thing I had plenty of eggs, sugar and flour otherwise I would have to call my grocer again. Anyway, to make a long story short I make another cake with the butter and I finally have managed to make a successful coffee cake up here in this oxygen deprived state. Yea, me!

"Remembuh dat Mom."

"Remembuh dat Mom". These are words I've been hearing a lot least I think so.
Emily, my infamous "middle" child has come up with this little saying for me. Apparently, the more children you have the more brain cells you lose because I can't remember a thing! Poor Emily thinks that it has gotten bad enough to now make sure that I "remembuh" everything she says. I guess after the first 5o times of forgetting essential things like snacks and computer time she has decided to do something about it.
Two days ago she asked if she could play on the computer and do the "wurd thingy" (Starfall). I told her that she could play after she woke up from her nap. Well, she went to sleep, woke up and I'm sure was expecting me to remind her of the playing on the computer. WRONG! I forgot 2 minutes after she asked. So....the next day the same thing happened. Same scenario....she asks to play....I tell her after naptime....again FORGOTTEN! Well, yesterday this is how it went.
"Mom, I want to play the wurd thingy".
"Emmy, you can play as soon as I get off the computer. I just need to check my email."
"Ok, remembuh dat Mom".
Isn't it sad when your 4 year old has been deprived of something she's been asking for for days and the only reason she hasn't recieved it is because her Mom has officially gone CRAZY!

Monday, May 01, 2006

I did it!

I did it!!!! Hey, can y'all see my cool new cursor. When coming on my site now your cursor should look like a pink dragonfly. Did it work? Let me know. If you want to try it go to:

Cool Cursors

Hey, I found a cool site where you can change the look of your cursor. It is called You can download it to your computer for free. I wish you could see my cursor now. It looks like a Hostess cupcake! Awesome! They had Twinkies too! It was a hard decision, but I figure I could change it daily if I wanted. I was hoping there was a way to fix it to where anyone who was viewing my blog would have the same cursor while on my page, but I haven't figured that out yet. There's got to be a way to do that, don't you think? I'll keep investigating. Anyway, just thought I would share.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Brief moment of insanity!

This blog is too apologize to all my readers about my past entry "I'm Really Going for the food". Apparently I had a moment of insanity. I don't really go for the food. I mean the foods nice and all, but there is ONE and only ONE reason I really go to the hottest state in the U.S..
My Daddy!
Why else would I go down there to sweat! If my DADDY weren't there I would have absolutely no reason to endure the blistering heat.
Plus, who would my girls go fishing with or on long walks with. They would be lost without their PAPAW.

So...I apologize for the confusion. I don't know what came over me. Why would I want those nasty dirty crawfish over the world's greatest DAD!

P.S. Dad, if you're reading this. How was that? Was this a good enough entry to change your mind about paying for all the good food that I will be eating when I come?