Monday, April 17, 2006

What's wrong with this picture

Directions: How many things can you find wrong with this picture? Circle them.

Does anyone know what's wrong with this picture? I can tell you exactly what's wrong with this picture. This is not a real mom and this is definitely not her kid. Does the advertising world really think that this is what it is like to go grocery shopping with your kids? I think they must be in denial. Let me tell you all what it is really like to go grocery shopping with your kids.

1. "Pseudo mom and child"
First, let me just point out the obvious, this "pseudo" mom only has one "pseudo" child with her at the store. And this "pseudo" child is obviously a good little actress, because she appears to be content with staying right with her "pseudo" mother. Ahh, how sweet! Come back to reality folks! This photo does not reveal the whole truth.
2. The Smile
If this were a "real" mother she would definitely not be as "chipper" as she appears. We all know that even the thought of grocery shopping is enough to put us into a deep dark depression. I would rather spend a week eating pancakes, and tuna fish than make out the "list" and go to the store.
3. Kid pushing cart
What? What mom in her right mind would actually let the child push the cart. Does she have unlimited amounts of money and patience? Has she never heard of the saying, "You break it, you buy it!"? I think I let Peyton push the cart one time...for maybe 4 seconds...something broke...and I bought it! Fun!
4. No screaming baby
Yup, you couldn't put your finger on it could you. Not only is there "one" child, that child is like 5 or 6 years old. Where's the screaming infant sitting in the front of the germ infested cart? You know the one that you try to calm down by opening anything and everything you can find in your cart before you even buy it. Oh, you know you've done it. How many times have you put the open box of Ritz crackers or the half empty bottle of juice on the conveyor belt. I'm not too proud to admit it.
5. The List
I don't know about y'all, but either this mom forgot her list and is having to remember her list by visual memorization, or she gave up trying to piece it together after her infant shredded it and ate items 6-13 on the list.
6. Overflowing cart
Surely, this woman is just getting started. I mean where is the cold jug of milk that is squeezed in next to the baby. Or the piles of food strategically balanced on top of each other based on weight and temperature. I don't see the three loaves of bread or the 4 boxes of cereal that you have to buy in order to make each child (including husband) happy. The picture is not willing to show you the bottom of the cart where you have stuffed the 24 rolls of Charmin and the huge box of Cheer. Don't forget the 8 roll pack of paper towels that you have to purchase everytime you go to the store. How many paper towels can a family of 5 use in a day? If you only knew.

I could go on, but I don't want to depress anyone. Can you tell that I am just trying to put off the inevitable. Tonight I convinced Jimmy to order a pizza. Maybe I can get away with the pancakes tomorrow night. I'll let you know. In the mean time, mothers, do yourself a favor and wait for "Daddy" to get home or pay for a babysitter when going grocery shopping. It's just not worth the misery!


Michelle said...

I do not, let me repeat, DO NOT ever go to the grocery store with all 4 children. That would just be a nightmare waiting to happen. I normally go by myself, or either go when it's just me with Jonah and Landon. Our grocery store has those carts that look like little cars, so that keeps Jonah happy, and if it doesn't then I have definitely been known to open up a box of his favorite snack, or better yet I sometimes buy donuts next door before we even make it into the grocery store!! Did you notice that there were only really nutricious food in the cart as well? Where are the fruit snacks and cookies? My kids like to eat fruits and vegetables, but not for every snack.

Michael said...

They're also not showing you the half full minivan with the stuff that they already bought from Sam's.

Melissa said...

I knew y'all would understand. The Sam's comment is totally true! That is funny!

Caci said...

I like the "germ infested cart" comment....I hated it when my children tried to teeth on the "handlebar" (I can't think of a better word right now). And I would NEVER put them in the infant seat attached to the cart! How gross is that? Anyway, with 2 boys who think they constantly must wrestle, I am constantly sounding more and more like my mother ,"keep your hands to yourself", "stand right by me, which is right by the buggy", "you are in public, don't you know how to act in public?" What a dumb question....anyway, I like this is so true! And the Sam's thing is too!

Wonderful Windy said...

I would actually pay someone to go to the grocery store for me if I ever had to go with all 3 boys alone. They have been especially terrible lately at stores. The last time we went to get groceries Bubba was with me and we purchased some new wooden spoons in various sizes to fit each "butt" just for these types of trips. We now have a stash in the car. I might sound mean but you know you have them too!!!

Heather said...

Oh yeah. Last time I came home from the store I was missing three items. When Bill asked for them, I realized they were on the part of the list Hunter ate. He had the audacity to comment on my letting her chew on the grocery list! As if I wanted my baby to eat paper and ink for a snack. In the grocery store, it's survival of the fittest!