Friday, March 31, 2006

Warning! Be on "High" alert!


I am posting this message a day early so all of you can be on "High" alert. I don't know if all of you are aware as to what tomorrow is, but you should be. Tomorrow is April Fools Day! Some of you are probably thinking, "So what?" Well, I'll tell you "what"! Tomorrow is the one day out of the whole year that you and your entire family should totally avoid my mother. Yes, you heard me! To some she is a friend, an aquaintance. To others she is a teacher or a close relative. Whatever she may be, I am telling you that she is also the "Queen" of April Fools Day! She will get you and your little dog too! Wait a minute, that was a witch. Well, whatever, same difference. It doesn't matter if you live 1,000 miles away or not, she will find a way to ruin you. For the past 364 days she has been plotting and planning the events of this day in that "twisted" little mind of hers. She has been tweeking her plans down to the last detail. You cannot stop her, so don't even try! She has been known to start as early as the stroke of midnight (ask Megan) and go until 11:59pm the night of, so don't put anything past her. She has been known to bring others in on her schemes so watch out for anything suspicious. I would even be a bit leary helping my own neighbor if I saw him fall to the ground clutching his heart in the driveway. He could be in cahoots with her. (ask John) Jimmy, my husband, is so totally intimidated by this woman that last year, short of getting on his knees, he begged her to have mercy on him. If that doesn't convince you then I don't know what will. The only thing I can do is to warn you. This is not a joke! Please whatever you do; don't call her, visit her or even email her on this horrid day. Stay inside your house with the doors locked and the curtains drawn if you have to. It is for your own good! If you choose not to follow the above instructions, then be prepared for the consequences. Don't say I didn't warn you! "Good night, and Good Luck."

4 comments:

Michael said...

WOW! This is wonderful public service announcement. I live way over here in DFW, and I'm always on the lookout. On the plus side, having Aunt Melony as a teacher and neighbor for some many years really stripped away some naivete. You tend to not take things at face value after you've spent a little time around her. You get suspicious that it might just be a ruse to give someone a good laugh.

Megan said...

oh believe me i have been on high alert for 364 days now.there is no telling what might happen.

Caci said...

thank you for the warning! It is true too! I am just glad that you are protecting yourself and your family from her schemes!

Wonderful Windy said...

I didn't grow up so close to you and I just think it is hillarious what you write on your mother's behalf. I would write those types of things about my mom, too. I just didn't realize how close the two of you were. That is Great!